The last trip I took in PAM, my ‘yak, I went up a creek with no name in a county that don’t matter. I was way past where anybody with any sense would go, well beyond the range of powerboats and jet skies and into the realm of Great Blue Herons, Otters and giant Snapping Turtles. It was a place you cain’t get to from here if you ain’t purty set on doin’ it.
It was gettin’ dark when I drug up on bar of fine sugar-white sand and crashed by Pam, too tired to even spread my bedroll. I woke up early, needin’ to find a place for a cat hole. I climbed over a big old sweetgum tree that had fell in the creek and on the other side I found an old wooden box, wedged under one of it’s limbs and half buried in the sand.
It was about the size of the boxes cowboy boots come in ans was covered in weathered grey paint. It was kinda beat up but you could still see stenciled on the lid the words —
DANGEROUS CONTENTS
DISPOSE OF PERMANENTLY
Those who know me very well would all tell you that I am proof the Lord looks after fools. There wasn’t much chance I wasn’t gonna open it eventually so I didn’t waste any time thinking the thing through — I just whupped out my KaBar and went to pryin’. They used a lot of nails on it but the wood was splintered and split so it didn’t take no time to get it open. It had leaked and was filled with packed mud, but under that was something that I can only describe as an 8” x 12” envelope made of lead. It didn’t take much longer to get that open and inside I found this document —
Policy Initiatives
Break up the ‘too big to fail’ banks End our part in the wars of the Middle East Create a Nationally accredited free Internet University Underwrite ‘micro’ loans for start up entrepreneurs Encourage and enable small scale manufacturing Legalize Marijuana Nationally Reinstate the Fourth Amendment
These policies are counter to the interests of the majority of our donor class and must never
be allowed to enter the Nation’s political discourse.
They lack divisiveness and might well prove too popular with the voters, creating
unpredictable, uncontrollable ‘movements’ that would cause discomfort and even
actual financial losses to those whose generosity make our form of government possible.
Because of this, We the leadership of both parties, agree to cast them into oblivion
and never under any circumstances allow them to be included in our campaigns.
Now I ain’t a politician, and ain’t got any desire to be one so long as I can find honest work, so I ain’t got any use for a bunch of old orphan policies (It was cats that broke me from takin’ in orphans; I got three) but there’s a lot of political types that hang around here and if any of y’all want ‘em then you’re welcome to ‘em. They probably ain’t no good but these days you never know what’s gonna win an election